How would you respond if you had someone come up to you and told you, “I want you to know something is coming up and I want you to be prepared for it. Don’t try to figure out what it is, or who it is about, just know something is coming and be prepared.”
Would it matter to you who is telling you that information? Would it be different, based on the thought of different people saying that to you…say your husband, your children/grandchildren, boss, co-worker? Sit with those for a couple of minutes and see how it would be different if your husband came and said that to you versus your children. Would your mind more likely jump to the negative if it were one or the other, or either? What about if it were your boss or a co-worker? How would that be different from your husband or child?
Do your thoughts go to thinking Ohhh, they are planning a surprise for me, with some people, but to oh my gosh, what is going on, with others?
What if it was God who was telling you to be ready?
Would that be different than any of those already considered? When you stop and consider God being the one telling you, “I want you to know something is coming up and I want you to be prepared for it. Don’t try to figure out what it is, or who it is about, just know something is coming and be prepared.” Does it change the way you feel?
Perhaps you felt relieved thinking it was coming from God, or like me, perhaps you felt dread. Stop and sit for a few minutes with that and consider why you feel that way and what that means about your trust level of God and WHO God is for you?
I found myself feeling exactly that way and had to sit with it for quite a while…I’m still not done. However, through this time and talking with my Spiritual Director, I have come to realize even though I see God as amazing, loving, gentle and so tender … I tend to attribute those behaviors to Jesus. I realized I still see God, the Father as the authoritarian, the discipliner, the punisher, the one that takes you through the trouble.
I will admit that when I considered my kids telling me this…well, I was a little worried with that one too. However, not at the same level as when thinking it was from God. I think my kids have access to a place in my heart that is very deep…not sure about why that is different. I do know God will continue to reveal more on this to me as He is ready.
For now, I just want to spend time with God, the Father…Papa. I don’t want this to be a trust issue, which tells me it probably is. The one thing I know to do to overcome that is to spend time together. I want to learn more about the various elements of God the Father; to know Him more personally, to experience His love and friendship, along with His gentleness and tenderness. I can do this in so many ways; my personal time with the Lord, my time with a Spiritual Director, as well as corporate time with fellow believers.
Where do you go and what do you do, to know Him more personally?